The relationship between the counselor and the client is an important component of a successful counseling experience. Counselors will do their best to make a client feel comfortable in their office and I think most clients feel satisfied enough after a first session with a counselor that their is no need to "shop around".
However, finding the right therapist isn't a one-size-fits-all kind of situation. Not all counselors approach counseling the same way. Some might be more warm and fuzzy while others are more formal and get down to business. You may not feel like your personalities are a good match. No matter what the source of your discomfort may be, if you don't like the first counselor that you happen to see, seek out someone else.
Many of you may be thinking something along the lines of, "No thanks! I just spent 50 minutes with that other counselor telling them my life story. I may not totally like them but I don't want to go through the hassle of finding another counselor, waiting for an appointment and telling my story again". That is a completely valid response to the idea of finding someone new.
However the way your feel about your counselor will have a direct impact on your attitude about going to your sessions, how much you listen to what your counselor may say in the session and the amount of progress you make towards your goal. After all, are you going to feel safe sharing private information with someone you don't like or don't know if you can trust?
As I pointed out in my previous post, counseling is an investment in yourself. You are spending your time, energy and money on your session. Make sure you get a good return on your investment. :)
Monday, September 5, 2011
Why Go To Counseling?
When people ask me what I do for work, and my answer is counseling, I often get one of two replies:
1. Hey! That is great! What's that like?
2. The other reply is usually less enthusiastic, involving questions about why I would want to listen to people's problems all day.
That second reply touches on a common misconception that counseling is a negative experience. Counseling involves a little listening to the problem and a lot of listening for the possible solutions to the problem. Counseling is positive, empowering and a wonderful investment in yourself, not to mention all the relationships that you are in.
The average person (or couple/family) often waits to got to counseling until they are in crisis. In other words, counseling is often something that people put off until the problem has become so big and so bad that it has become intolerable. Your counselor is an objective source of support and honesty. Sharing about the problem with your counselor will help you look at the problem from a different perspective. At first, you may have trouble seeing any solution to your problem, let alone several possible solutions.
So can I just say...don't put it off! Many clients experience at least some relief from their problem right after they call to schedule the first appointment. Clients also feel relief again after their first session. Depending on the problem that someone is going to counseling to overcome, there may be sessions that are more emotionally draining than others. Your counselor would be there to support you through the more challenging sessions so that you could keep moving forward. In short, your counselor wants to help you feel better and they want to help you feel better quickly.
In order to have the best counseling experience, ask yourself if you really are ready for the change that is necessary in order to meet your goal/get rid of the problem. A counselor's job is not to make the change for you or tell you what to do. A counselor's job is to walk beside their client on their path towards change. Counselors support, listen, encourage, and sometimes gently push you outside of your comfort zone in order to help you attain your goal. Even really great change can be hard but remember the growing pains will be worth it!
1. Hey! That is great! What's that like?
2. The other reply is usually less enthusiastic, involving questions about why I would want to listen to people's problems all day.
That second reply touches on a common misconception that counseling is a negative experience. Counseling involves a little listening to the problem and a lot of listening for the possible solutions to the problem. Counseling is positive, empowering and a wonderful investment in yourself, not to mention all the relationships that you are in.
The average person (or couple/family) often waits to got to counseling until they are in crisis. In other words, counseling is often something that people put off until the problem has become so big and so bad that it has become intolerable. Your counselor is an objective source of support and honesty. Sharing about the problem with your counselor will help you look at the problem from a different perspective. At first, you may have trouble seeing any solution to your problem, let alone several possible solutions.
So can I just say...don't put it off! Many clients experience at least some relief from their problem right after they call to schedule the first appointment. Clients also feel relief again after their first session. Depending on the problem that someone is going to counseling to overcome, there may be sessions that are more emotionally draining than others. Your counselor would be there to support you through the more challenging sessions so that you could keep moving forward. In short, your counselor wants to help you feel better and they want to help you feel better quickly.
In order to have the best counseling experience, ask yourself if you really are ready for the change that is necessary in order to meet your goal/get rid of the problem. A counselor's job is not to make the change for you or tell you what to do. A counselor's job is to walk beside their client on their path towards change. Counselors support, listen, encourage, and sometimes gently push you outside of your comfort zone in order to help you attain your goal. Even really great change can be hard but remember the growing pains will be worth it!
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